Remembering Mr. Curtis’s great speech, &Ⓐemendation other great &Ⓐemendation enjoyable features of the New-England Society’s last annual banquet, it is with very real regret that I am obliged to deny myself the privilege of being present at this year’s dinner; but I have an offensive business engagement for that day in Hartford. Most people would shirk this, under the temptation which your invitation offers, but I have young George Washington’s disease (which is much rarer now than Bright’s), &Ⓐemendation my word is the one unfracturable thing about me. 〚I do not know what Bright’s disease is, but anyway, I do not feel bright enough this morning to be afraid I have got it.〛

Still, I shall not be without my share in the pleasures of the occasion for my private telephone will be connected with your banqueting hall, if my plans &Ⓐemendation purposes succeed. It has an improvement of my own invention which I call the Olfactorium, &Ⓐemendation I shall sit by my own firesideⒶemendation, with a few friends whom I have taken the liberty to invite to your celebration, &Ⓐemendation we will smoke our pipes &Ⓐemendation sip our lemonade, applaud your speeches judiciously, &Ⓐemendation refresh ourselves with a fragrant sniff of each of your courses as it comes on your table. We shall also have one privilege which will be denied to your (otherwise) more fortunate guests: for if an orator ventures to spread himself out over the edges of the regulation ten minutes, he must be proportionately interesting, or we will shut down the lid on him &Ⓐemendation wait for the next speaker. Since we shall necessarily not be in the list of guests appointed to respond to toasts, we shall sorrow to be unable to contribute a sentiment or two to the general entertainment, but there is a new song here which you may not have heard, &Ⓐemendation if you care for music we shall be very glad indeed to sing it for you, by telephone. I am not right sure of the name of it, but I think it is called “In the Sweet By-&Ⓐemendation Bye.”

Again thanking the Committee for the compliment of their invitation, I am, with great respect,