Explanatory Notes
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Apparatus Notes
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CHAPTER 64
[begin page 436]

CHAPTER 64

In my diary of our third day in Honolulu, I find this:

Iemendation am probably the most sensitive man in Hawaiiemendation to-night—especially about sitting down in the presence of my betters. I have ridden fifteen or twenty miles on horsebackemendation since 5 p.m. emendation, and to tell the honest truth, I have a delicacy about sitting down at all.emendation

An excursion to Diamond Head and the King’s Cocoanut Grove was planned to-day—time, 4:30 p.m. emendation—the party to consist of half a dozen gentlemen and three ladies. They all started at the appointed hour except myself. I was at the Government Prisonexplanatory note, (with Capt. Fish and another whaleship-skipper, Capt.emendation Phillipsexplanatory note,)emendation and got so interested in its examination that I did not notice how quickly the time was passing. Somebody remarked that it was twenty minutes past five o’clock, and that woke me up. It was a fortunate circumstance that Capt.emendation Phillips was alongemendation with his “turn-out,” as he calls a top-buggy that Capt.emendation Cookexplanatory note brought here in 1778, and a horse that was here when Capt. Cook came. Capt.emendation Phillips takes a just pride in his driving and in the speed of his horse, and to his passion for displaying them I owe it that we were only sixteen minutes coming from the prison to the American Hotelexplanatory note—a distance which has been estimated to be over half a mile. But it took some fearfulemendation driving. The captain’semendation whip came down fast, and the blows started so much dust out of the horse’s hide that during the last half of the journey we rode through an impenetrable fog, and ran by a pocket compass in the hands of Capt.emendation Fish, a whaleremendation of twenty-six years’emendation experience, who sat there through theemendation perilous voyage as self-possessed as if he had been on the euchre-deck of his own ship, and calmly said, “Port your helm—port,” from time to time, and “Hold her a little free—steady—so-o,” and “Luff—hard down to starboard!” and never once lost his presence of mind or betrayed the least anxiety by voice or manner. When we came to anchor at last, [begin page 437] and Capt.emendation Phillips looked at his watch and said, “Sixteen minutes—I told you it was in her! that’s over three miles an hour!” I could see he felt entitled to a compliment, and so I said I had never seen lightning go like that horse. And I never had.

Theemendation landlord of the American said the party had been gone nearly an hour, but that he could give me my choice of several horses that could overtakeemendation them. I said, never mind—I preferred a safe horse to a fast one—I would like to have an excessively gentle horse—a horse with no spirit whatever—a lame one, if he had such a thing. Inside of five minutes I was mounted, and perfectly satisfied with my outfit. I had no time to label him “This is a horse,” and so if the public took him for a sheep I cannot help it. I was satisfied, and that was the main thing. I could see that he had as many fine points as any man’s horse, and so Iemendation hung my hat on one of them, behind the saddle, and swabbed the perspiration from my face and started. I named him after this island, “Oahu” (pronounced O-waw-hooemendation). The first gate he came to he started in; I had neither whip nor spur, and so I simply argued the case with him. He resistedemendation argument, but ultimately yielded to insult and abuse. He backed out of that gate and steered for another one on the other side of the street. I triumphed by my former process. Within the next six hundred yards he crossed the street fourteen times and attempted thirteen gates, and in the meantime the tropical sun was beating down and threatening to cave the top of my head in, and I was literally dripping with perspiration. He abandonedemendation the gate business after that and went along peaceably enough, but absorbed in meditation. I noticed this latter circumstance, and it soon began to fill me with apprehensionemendation. I said to myself, this creatureemendation is planning some new outrage, some fresh deviltry or other—no horse ever thought over a subject so profoundly as this one is doing just for nothing. The more this thing preyed upon my mind the more uneasy I became, untilemendation the suspense became almostemendation unbearable and I dismounted to see if there was anything wild in his eye—for I had heard that the eye of this noblest of our domestic animals is very expressive. I cannot describe what a load of anxiety was lifted from my mind when I found that he was only asleep. I woke him up and started him into a faster walk, and then the villainyemendation of his nature came out again. He tried to climb over a stone wall, five or [begin page 438] six feet high. I saw that I must apply force to this horse, and that I might as well begin first as last. I plucked a stout switch from a tamarind tree, and the moment he saw it, he surrenderedemendation. He broke into a convulsive sort of a canter, which had three short steps in it and one long one, and reminded me alternately of the clattering shake of the great earthquake, and the sweeping plunging of the Ajax in a stormexplanatory note.

looking for mischief.

And nowemendation there can be no fitter occasion than the present to pronounce a left-handed blessingemendation upon the man who invented the American saddle. There is no seat to speak of about it—one might as well sit in a shovel—and the stirrups are nothing but an ornamental nuisance. If I were to write down here all the abuse I expended on those stirrups, it would make a large book, even without pictures. Sometimes I got one foot so far through, that the stirrup partook of the nature of an anklet; sometimes both feet were through, and I was handcuffed by the legs;emendation and sometimes my feet got clear out and left the stirrups wildly dangling about my shins. Even when I was in proper position and carefully balanced upon the balls of my feet, there was no comfort in it, on account of my nervous dread that they were going to slip one way or the other in a moment. But the subject is too exasperating to write about.textual note

[begin page 439] Aemendation mile and a half from town, I came to a grove of tall cocoanutemendation trees, with clean, branchless stems reaching straight up sixty or seventy feet and topped with a spray of green foliage sheltering clusters of cocoanutsemendation—not more picturesqueemendation than a forest of colossal ragged parasols, with bunches of magnified grapes under them, would be. I once heard a grouty northern invalid say that a cocoanutemendation tree might be poetical, possibly it was; but it looked like a feather-duster struck by lightning. I think that describes it better than a picture—and yet, without any question, there is something fascinating about a cocoanutemendation tree—and graceful, too.emendation

a family likeness.emendation

Aboutemendation a dozen cottages, some frame and the others of native grass, nestled sleepily in the shade here and there. The grass cabins are of a grayish color, are shaped much like our own cottages, only with higher and steeper roofs usually, and are made of some kind of weed strongly bound together in bundles. The roofs are very thick, and so are the walls; the latter have square holes in them for windows. At a little distance these cabins have a furry appearance, as if they might be made of bear skins. They are very cool and pleasant inside. The King’s flag was flying from the roof of one of the cottages, and hisemendation Majesty was probably within. He owns the whole concern thereabouts, and passes his time there frequently, on sultry days “laying off.” The spot is called “The King’s Grove.”explanatory note

Nearemendation by is an interesting ruin—the meagreemendation remains of an ancient heathen temple—a place where human sacrifices were offered up in those old bygone days when the simple child of nature, [begin page 440] yielding momentarily to sin when sorely tempted, acknowledged his error when calm reflection had shown it toemendation him, and came forward with noble frankness and offered up his grandmotheremendation as an atoning sacrifice—in those old days when the luckless sinner could keep on cleansing his conscience and achieving periodical happiness as long as his relations held out; long, long before the missionaries braved a thousand privations to come and make them permanently miserable by telling them how beautiful and how blissful a place heaven is, and how nearly impossibleemendation it is to get there; and showed the poor native how dreary a place perdition is and what unnecessarily liberal facilities there are for going to it; showed him how, in his ignorance, he had gone and fooled away all his kin-folksemendation to no purpose; showed him what rapture it is to work all day long for fifty cents to buy food for next day with, as compared with fishing for pastime and lolling in the shade through eternal summeremendation, and eating of the bounty that nobody labored to provide but Nature. How sad it is to think of the multitudes who have gone to their graves in this beautiful island and never knew there was a hell!

Thisemendation ancient temple was built of rough blocks of lava, and was simply a roofless enclosureemendation a hundred and thirty feet long and seventy wide—nothing but nakedemendation walls, very thick, but not much higher than a man’s head. They will last for ages, no doubt, if left unmolested. Its three altars and other sacred appurtenances have crumbled and passed away years ago. It is said that in the old times thousands of human beings were slaughtered here, in the presence of naked and howling savages. If these mute stones could speak, what tales they could tell, what pictures they could describe, of fettered victims writhingemendation under the knife; of massedemendation forms straining forward out of the gloom, with ferociousemendation faces lit up by theemendation sacrificial fires; of the backgroundemendation of ghostly treesemendation; of the dark pyramid of Diamond Head standing sentinel over the uncannyemendation scene, and the peaceful moon lookingemendation down upon it through rifts in the cloud-rackemendation!

When Kamehameha (pronounced Ka-may-ha-may-ah) the Great—who was a sort of aemendation Napoleonexplanatory note in military genius and uniform success—invaded this island of Oahu three-quarters of a centuryemendation ago, and exterminated the army sent to oppose him, and took [begin page 441] full and final possession of the countryexplanatory note, he searched out the dead body of the Kingemendation of Oahu, and those of the principal chiefs, and impaled their heads onemendation the wallsexplanatory note of this temple.

Those were savage times when this old slaughter-house was in its prime. The Kingemendation and the chiefs ruled the common herd with a rod of iron; made them gather all the provisions the masters needed; build all the houses and temples; stand all the expenses, of whatever kind; take kicks and cuffs for thanks; drag out lives well flavored with misery, and then suffer death for trifling offenses or yield up their lives on the sacrificial altars to purchase favors from the gods for their hard rulers. The missionaries have clothed them, educated them, broken up the tyrannous authority of their chiefs, and given them freedom and the right to enjoy whatever their handsemendation and brains produceemendation, with equal laws for all and punishment for all alike who transgress them. The contrast is so strong—the benefitemendation conferred upon this people by the missionaries is so prominent, so palpable and so unquestionable, that the frankest compliment I can pay them, and the best, is simply to point to the condition of the Sandwich Islanders of Capt.emendation Cook’s time, and their condition to-day. Their work speaks for itselfexplanatory note.explanatory note emendation

Editorial Emendations CHAPTER 64
  I (A)  ●  indented from right Honolulu, March, 1866. centered Coming Home from Prison. [¶] I (SU) 
  Hawaii (A)  ●  the kingdom of Hawaii (SU) 
  horseback (C)  ●  horse-  |  back (SU) 
  p.m.  (A)  ●  p. m.  (SU) 
  all. (A)  ●  all. I am one of the poorest horsemen in the world, and I never mount a horse without experiencing a sort of dread that I may be setting out on that last mysterious journey which all of us must take sooner or later, and I never come back in safety from a horseback trip without thinking of my latter end for two or three days afterward. This same old regular devotional sentiment began just as soon as I sat down here five minutes ago. (SU) 
  p.m.  (A)  ●  p. m.  (SU) 
  Capt. . . . Capt. (C)  ●  Captain . . . Captain (A) 
  (with . . . Phillips,) (A)  ●  not in  (SU) 
  Capt. (C)  ●  Captain (SU) 
  along (A)  ●  there (SU) 
  Capt. (C)  ●  Captain (SU) 
  Capt. . . . Capt. (C)  ●  Captain . . . Captain (SU) 
  fearful (A)  ●  awful (SU) 
  captain’s (C)  ●  Captain’s (SU) 
  Capt. (C)  ●  Captain (SU) 
  whaler (A)  ●  whaler Captain (SU) 
  years’ (C)  ●  years (SU) 
  the (A)  ●  that (SU) 
  Capt. (C)  ●  Captain (SU) 
  The (A)  ●  centered The Steed “Oahu.” [¶] The (SU) 
  overtake (A)  ●  easily overtake (SU) 
  so I (A)  ●  I just (SU) 
  O-waw-hoo (SU)  ●  O-waw-hee (A) 
  resisted (A)  ●  firmly resisted (SU) 
  perspiration. He abandoned (A)  ●  perspiration and profanity. (I am only human and I was sorely aggravated. I shall behave better next time.) He quit (SU) 
  apprehension (A)  ●  the gravest apprehension (SU) 
  creature (A)  ●  malignant brute (SU) 
  until (A)  ●  until at last (SU) 
  almost (A)  ●  not in  (SU) 
  villainy (A)  ●  inborn villainy (SU) 
  surrendered (A)  ●  gave in (SU) 
  And now (A)  ●  centered Out of Prison, but in the Stocks. [¶] And now it occurs to me that (SU) 
  left-handed blessing (A)  ●  fervent curse (SU) 
  legs; (A)  ●  legs, (SU) 
  A (A)  ●  centered The King’s Grove, Waikiki. [¶] A (SU) 
  cocoanut (C)  ●  cocoa-nut (SU) 
  cocoanuts (C)  ●  cocoa-nuts (SU) 
  picturesque (A)  ●  pituresque (SU) 
  cocoanut (C)  ●  cocoa-  |  nut (A) 
  cocoanut (C)  ●  cocoa-nut (A) 
  I . . . too. (A)  ●  not in  (SU) 
  likeness. (C)  ●  likeness  (A) 
  About (A)  ●  no no (SU) 
  his (C)  ●  His (SU) 
  Near (A)  ●  centered Ruins of an Ancient Heathen Temple. [¶] Near (SU) 
  meagre (A)  ●  meager (SU) 
  to (SU)  ●  not in  (A) 
  grandmother (A)  ●  grand-  |  mother (SU) 
  impossible (A)  ●  imposssible (SU) 
  kin-folks (C)  ●  kin-  |  folks (SU) 
  summer (C)  ●  Summer (SU) 
  This (A)  ●  no And it inclines right thinking man to weep rather than to laugh when he reflects how surprised they must have been when they got there. This (SU) 
  enclosure (C)  ●  inclosure (SU) 
  naked (A)  ●  multitudes of naked, whooping (SU) 
  victims writhing (A)  ●  victims, writhing and shrieking (SU) 
  massed (A)  ●  dense masses of dusky (SU) 
  ferocious (A)  ●  eager and ferocious (SU) 
  by the (A)  ●  with the weird light of (SU) 
  background (A)  ●  vague background (SU) 
  trees (A)  ●  trees; of the mournful sea washing the dim shore (SU) 
  uncanny (A)  ●  dismal (SU) 
  looking (A)  ●  looking calmly (SU) 
  cloud-rack (A)  ●  drifting clouds (SU) 
  sort of a (A)  ●  very (SU) 
  century (A)  ●  cenury (SU) 
  King (A)  ●  king (SU) 
  on (A)  ●  upon (SU) 
  King (A)  ●  king (SU) 
  their hands (A)  ●  the labor of their hand (SU) 
  produce (A)  ●  produces (SU) 
  benefit (A)  ●  wonderful benefit (SU) 
  Capt. (C)  ●  Captain (SU) 
  itself. (A)  ●  itself. [¶] The little collection of cottages (of which I was speaking a while ago) under the cocoanut trees is a historical point. It is the village of Waikiki (usually pronounced Wy-kee-ky), once the Capital of the kingdom and the abode of the great Kamehameha I. In 1801, while he lay encamped at this place with seven thousand men, preparing to invade the island of Kaui (he had previously captured and subdued the seven other inhabited islands of the group, one after another), a pestilence broke out in Oahu and raged with great virulence. It attacked the king’s army and made great havoc in it. It is said that three hundred bodies were washed out to sea in one day. [¶] There is an opening in the coral reef at this point, and anchorage inside for a small number of vessels, though one accustomed to the great Bay of San Francisco would never take this little belt of smooth water, with its border of foaming surf, to be a harbor, save for White-  |  hall boats or something of that kind. But harbors are scarce in these islands—open roadsteads are the rule here. The harbor of Waikiki was discovered in 1786 (seven or eight years after Captain Cook’s murder) by Captains Portlock and Dixon, in the ships King George and Queen Charlotte—the first English vessels that visited the islands after that unhappy occurrence. This little bathing tub of smooth water possesses some further historical interest as being the spot where the distinguished navigator, Vancouver, landed when he came here in 1792. [¶] In a conversation with a gentleman to-day about the scarcity of harbors among the islands (and in all the islands of the South Pacific), he said the natives of Tahiti have a theory that the reason why there are harbors wherever fresh water streams empty into the sea, and none else-where, is that the fresh water kills the coral insect, or so discommodes or disgusts it that it will not build its stony wall in its vicinity, and instance what is claimed as a fact, viz, that the break in the reef is always found where the fresh water passes over it, in support of this theory. [¶] [This notable equestrian excursion will be concluded in my next, if nothing happens.] indented from right Mark Twain. (SU) 
Textual Notes CHAPTER 64
 about.] At this point Mark Twain skipped over paragraphs 5–14 of SU, reserving most of that material for use in chapter 65 (444.16–448.18).
Explanatory Notes CHAPTER 64
  In my diary . . . itself.] In fact, Mark Twain did not draw on either of his two extant Hawaiian notebooks for this chapter (notebooks 5 and 6 in N&J1 , 91–237). Rather he based this portion of the text on his letter in the Sacramento Union of 21 April 1866, revising it for inclusion in Roughing It; he reserved a section of the letter for use in the next chapter (SLC 1866n; see the note at 444.16–448.18).
 the Government Prison] Mark Twain described his visit to this “model prison of the western half of the world”—completed in 1857 on the outskirts of Honolulu—in his letter in the Union of 21 May, but he used none of the account in Roughing It (Scott, 856; SLC 1866p).
 Capt. Fish . . . Capt. Phillips] See the note at 421.17–20. Clemens recorded in his notebook that both captains had been victims of the Confederate privateer Shenandoah, which destroyed a number of Pacific whaling vessels ( N&J1 , 113, 182).
 Capt. Cook] Captain James Cook (1728–79)—English circumnavigator, explorer of the Pacific Ocean, and first European to reach the Sandwich Islands—was killed by natives on 14 February 1779 at Kealakekua Bay on the island of Hawaii. Mark Twain recounts the events surrounding his death in chapter 71 (490.39–491.24).
 the American Hotel] This hotel opened for business at the beginning of March 1866 on the “premises lately occupied by the British Consul” (“American House,” Friend 17 [1 Mar 66]: 17). Clemens, with other Ajax passengers, took some of his meals there, but roomed in a nearby cottage (“American House,” Honolulu Pacific Commercial Advertiser, 3 Mar 66, 3, and 10 Mar 66, 1; MTH , 19–22; SLC 1866m).
 Inside of five minutes I was mounted . . . plunging of the Ajax in a storm] This description of the horse “Oahu” recalls an amusing sketch by George Washington Bates about his own recalcitrant “steed” in his 1854 account of a visit to the islands, Sandwich Island Notes, a book Clemens had read. Bates, the perspiring rider, attempts to whip his horse into consistent motion, but “he would trot, walk, or come to a stand, just as it suited him; and when I arrived at an elevation of the road, he stood as still as a sculptured war-steed” (Bates, 127). The [begin page 710] horse suddenly breaks into a mad gallop, before lapsing again into somnolence. “On the whole, it was a curious performance, but very far from being agreeable” (Bates, 129). Early in his Sandwich Islands trip, Clemens filled many notebook pages with references from Bates’s book—without citing his source, which has now been identified for the first time ( N&J1 , 210–15). Bates’s narrative, while it furnishes abundant evidence of the author’s chauvinism and his disdain toward the islanders, is leavened by humor and treats frankly the discomforts and incongruities of island travel and native life. Its author remains mysterious: references in two extensive reviews of the book in the Polynesian suggest that Bates (also known as William Baker) was incarcerated in a New York prison sometime in 1854 or 1855, apparently for bigamy (Polynesian: 12 [11 Aug 55]: 53–54; 12 [1 Sept 55]: 66).
 About a dozen cottages . . . “The King’s Grove.”] In his 21 April Union letter Mark Twain identified this place as “Waikiki . . ., once the Capital of the kingdom” (SLC 1866n). After Europeans discovered Honolulu harbor in 1793, the importance of nearby Waikiki diminished, although at the time of Clemens’s visit it was still the royal summer residence. The current king was Kamehameha V (see the note at 462.4; Whitney, 26).
 This ancient temple was built of rough blocks . . . Kamehameha . . . impaled their heads on the walls] Mark Twain’s description of this site, located about a mile outside the village of Waikiki, and of Kamehameha’s vengeful display there owes some of its details to James Jackson Jarves’s Scenes and Scenery in the Sandwich Islands (Jarves 1844a, 59–60).
 When Kamehameha . . . took full and final possession of the country] Through military triumphs and alliances between 1782 and 1810, Kamehameha (1758?–1819) gradually consolidated his power beyond his native island of Hawaii, ultimately uniting the islands and ruling as Kamehameha I. The decisive victory occurred in 1795 when, at the battle of Nuuanu on the island of Oahu, he completed the conquest of all the principal islands except Kauai, whose king did not acknowledge Kamehameha’s sovereignty until 1810. For the quarter century following the battle, Kamehameha’s skilled management of domestic and foreign affairs assured the stability and independence of the kingdom and established the dynasty that was to follow. Mark Twain’s information about Kamehameha’s victory on Oahu, here and in chapter 65, relies on Jarves’s accounts in his History of the Hawaiian Islands and its companion volume, Scenes and Scenery in the Sandwich Islands (Kuykendall 1938, 32–61, 429–30; Jarves 1847, 92; Jarves 1844a, v–vi, 60).
 a sort of a Napoleon] See the note at 469.34.
  [begin page 711] The missionaries have clothed them . . . Their work speaks for itself] In a number of published statements, Clemens reiterated his generally favorable assessment of the missionaries’ role in the islands. He first listed the “benefit conferred” by them in early August 1866, in one of his Hawaiian notebooks ( N&J1 , 154; MTH , 128–48).