Attributed Items: Nevada Territory (1862–1864)
A number of items which Clemens almost certainly wrote for the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise, but which lack sufficient corroboration or are too slight to be included in the body of this collection, are reprinted in this appendix.
In January 1878, when Mark Twain had already published The Innocents Abroad, Roughing It, The Gilded Age, Tom Sawyer, and many shorter works, a former colleague of his on the Enterprise observed that “the brightest paragraphs ‘Mark’ ever penned were written for the local columns of this journal, while he was part of the dreamy, reckless and adventurous throng whose tents were pitched almost a generation ago along the Comstock.” And when Henry Nash Smith published Mark Twain of the “Enterprise” in 1957, he wrote that “because examples of Mark Twain's routine reporting are scarce,” he had “included whatever scraps of such material” he could find.1 We share the interest implied by both writers in Mark Twain's routine journalism, precisely because this kind of work eventually gave rise to his tales and sketches.
Since 1957 some progress has been made both in finding local items and in fixing their dates of publication and even their authenticity. The following selections are, we believe, by Mark Twain—a conjecture supported by stylistic features, and by the chronology for Clemens' and Dan De Quille's whereabouts in Nevada and California for these years.
We exclude from this appendix several brief items that stylistic and other evidence suggests were probably written by Dan De Quille: “The Poor Fellow!” or “The Washoe Canary,” “Mount Davidson,” and [begin page 388] “Time for Her to Come Home.”2 We exclude several items reprinted in the San Francisco press and attributed to the Enterprise, but which lack the author's stylistic signature.3 We also exclude two items probably by Mark Twain, attributed to the Enterprise by Paul Fatout, but which we have been unable to find as cited, or otherwise.4 Finally, we exclude several unsigned Enterprise articles and editorials that are preserved in Mark Twain's scrapbooks: “A Ghost Story” does not suggest his manner, and was probably written by another hand, prior to Clemens' return to Virginia City from Carson in late December 1862; “The Lager Beer Club,” two sketches published on 10 and 24 May 1863, were probably not written by Mark Twain because he was then in San Francisco; and two editorials, “Salaries” and “Nevada's Bounty,” might have been written by him, but fail to show his stylistic signature.5
Items that are probably not by Mark Twain, but that were published in one of the local columns to which he contributed, are here omitted, as are several items of such routine character that they have no literary interest (bills passed at a meeting of the board of aldermen, for instance). Items appearing in the main body of the collection are also omitted. Whenever an item from a column has been skipped over, ellipsis points appear to show the omission. Individual textual commentaries attend to the matters of copy-text, emendation, and problems in establishing the text.
1 October 1862
The following three items appeared in the Enterprise on 1 October 1862. They are the earliest extant articles that Clemens wrote for the newspaper. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text for the first item is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Oroville (Calif.) Butte Record for 11 October 1862, which introduced it as follows: “They have had windy times of late in Washoe. The Virginia City Enterprise graphically describes the consequent movement in real estate, and says.” The texts for the second and third items survive in the Marysville (Calif.) Appeal for 5 October 1862, which attributed them to the Enterprise “of Oct. 1st.” The authenticity of the first is attested chiefly by its comic style (see the introduction, pp. 20–21), while the authenticity of the second and third is attested by Mark Twain's own memory of his initial days on the Enterprise, particularly his memory of how he filled “two nonpareil columns” without benefit of hard news. In chapter 42 of Roughing It he said:
Next I discovered some emigrant wagons going into camp on the plaza and found that they had lately come through the hostile Indian country and had fared rather roughly. I made the best of the item that the circumstances permitted, and felt that if I were not confined within rigid limits by the presence of the reporters of the other papers I could add particulars that would make the article much more interesting. However, I found one wagon that was going on to California, and made some judicious inquiries of the proprietor. When I learned, through his short and surly answers to my cross-questioning, that he was certainly going on and would not be in the city next day to make trouble, I got ahead of the other papers, for I took down his list of names and added his party to the killed and wounded. Having more scope here, I put this wagon through an Indian fight that to this day has no parallel in history.
A Gale.—Ⓐemendation AboutⒶemendation 7Ⓐemendation o'clock Tuesday evening (Sept. 30th)Ⓐtextual note a sudden blast of wind picked up a shooting gallery, two lodging housesⒶemendation and a drug store from their tall wooden stilts and set them down again some ten or twelve feet back of their original location, with such a degree of roughness as to jostle their insides into a sort of chaos. There were many guests in the lodging houses at the time of the accident, but it is pleasant to reflect that they seized their carpet sacks and vacated the premises with an alacrityⒶemendation suited to the occasion.Ⓐemendation No one hurt.Ⓐtextual note Ⓐemendation Ⓐemendation
[begin page 390]The Indian Troubles on the Overland Route.—Twelve or fifteen emigrant wagons arrived here on Monday evening, and all but five moved on towards California yesterday. One of the five wagons which will remain in the city is in charge of a man from Story county, Iowa, who started across the plains on the 5th of May last, in company with a large train composed principally of emigrants from his own section. From him we learn the following particulars: When in the vicinity of Raft river, this side of Fort Hall, the train was attacked, in broad daylight by a large body of Snake Indians. The emigrants, taken entirely by surprise—for they had apprehended no trouble—made but a feeble resistance, and retreated, with a loss of six men and one woman of their party. The Indians also captured the teams belonging to thirteen wagons, together with a large number of loose cattle and horses. The names of those killed in the affray are as follows: Charles Bulwinkle, from New York; William Moats, Geo. Adams and Elizabeth Adams, and three others whose names our informant had forgotten. The survivors were overtaken on the afternoon by a train numbering 111 wagons, which brought them through to Humboldt. They occasionally discovered the dead bodies of emigrants by the roadside; at one time twelve corpses were found, at another four, and at another two—all minus their scalps. They also saw the wrecks of many wagons destroyed by the Indians. Shortly after the sufferers by the fight recorded above had joined the large train, it was also fired into in the night by a party of Snake Indians, but the latter, finding themselves pretty warmly received, drew off without taking a scalp. About a week before these events transpired, a party of emigrants numbering 40 persons was attacked near City Rocks by the same tribe of uncivilized pirates. Five young ladies were carried off, and, it is thought, women and children in all to the number of fifteen. All the men were killed except one, who made his escape and arrived at Humboldt about the 20th of September. This train was called the “Methodist Train,” which was not altogether inappropriate, since the whole party knelt down and began to pray as soon as the attack was commenced. Every train which has passed over that portion of the route in the vicinity of City Rocks since the 1st of August has had trouble with the Indians. When our informant left Humboldt several wagons had just arrived whose sides and covers had been transformed into magnified nutmeg-graters by Indian bullets. The Snakes corralled the train, when a fight ensued, [begin page 391] which lasted forty-eight hours. The whites cut their way out, finally, and escaped. We could not learn the number of killed and wounded at this battle.
[More Indian Troubles.—] Mr. L. F. Yates, who arrived in this city a few days since from Pike's Peak, has given us the following particulars of a fight his train had on the 8th of last August, about one and a-half miles this side of the junction of the Lander's Cut-off and Fort Bridger roads. Their train consisted of 15 wagons and 40 men, with a number of women and children. The train was attacked while passing along a ravine by a party of Indians being concealed in among a thick growth of poplar bushes. When the attack commenced, most of the front wagons were some 80 rods in advance. They formed in corral, and intrenched behind their wagons, refused the slightest aid to those who were struggling with the savages in the rear. The party thus left to fight their way through the ambushed Indians numbered but nine men, and there were but four guns with which to maintain the battle. Five of the nine were killed and one wounded. The names of the killed are asⒶemendation follows: Parmelee, James Steele, James A. Hart, Rufus C. Mitchell,Ⓐemendation from Central City, Colorado Territory, and McMahan, residence unknown; the name of the man wounded is Frank Lyman. He was shot through the lungs—recovered. The thirty-one men who were hidden snugly behind their wagons, with a single honorable exception, refused to render the slightest assistance to those who were fighting for their lives and the lives of their families so near them. Although they had 27 guns they refused to lend a single gun, when at one time four men went to ask assistance. The cowards all clung to their arms,Ⓐemendation and lay trembling behind their wagons. A man named Perry, or Berry, was the only one who had sufficient courage to attempt to render his struggling friends any assistance. He was shot in the face before reaching the rear wagons, and was carried back to the corral. The fight lasted nearly two hours, and some seven or eight Indians were killed, as at various times they charged out of the bushes on their ponies. Several Indian horses were killed, and at length the few left alive fought through to where their thirty heroic friends (?) were corraled, leaving the killed and two wagons in possession of the Indians. Thirty bigger cowards and meaner men than those above mentioned never crossed the plains; we are certain that every man of them left the States for fear of being drafted into the army.
[begin page 392]
1–10 November 1862
The following item appeared in the Enterprise sometime in early November 1862, before Mark Twain took up his duties in the Territorial Legislature on November 11. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Oroville (Calif.) Butte Record for 15 November 1862, which attributed it to the Enterprise.
The Petrified Man.—Mr.Ⓐemendation Herr Weisnicht has just arrived in Virginia City from the Humboldt mines and regions beyond. He brings with him the head and one foot of the petrified man, lately found in the mountains near GravellyⒶemendation Ford. A skillful assayer has analyzed a small portion of dirt found under the nail of the great toe and pronounces the man to have been a native of the KingdomⒶemendation of New Jersey. As a trace of “speculation” is still discernible in the left eye, it is thought the man was on his way to what is now the Washoe mining region for the purpose of locating the Comstock. TheⒶemendation remains brought in are to be seen in a neat glass case in the third story of the Library Building, where they have been temporarily placed by Mr. Weisnicht for the inspection of the curious, and where they may be examined by any one who will take the trouble to visit them.
[begin page 393]
30–31 December 1862
The following eight items appeared in the same Enterprise local column that began with “Our Stock Remarks” (no. 33). The rationale for attributing the column to Clemens, and for the date assigned, may be found in the headnote to that piece (p. 175). The column itself is preserved in a clipping in one of the scrapbooks Orion Clemens kept for his brother. This column was among the first Clemens wrote on his own, after Dan De Quille left for the East (see “The Illustrious Departed,” no. 32).
. . . .
Board of Education.—In accordance with a law passed at the late session of the legislature, a Board of Education is to be organized in each of the several counties. The Storey county Board will be composed of seven members, apportioned as follows: Four from Virginia, two from Gold Hill, and one from Flowery. The Chairman of the Board will be County School Superintendent. These officers will have power to issue bonds sufficient to defray the expenses of the schools, from the 1st of January until the 1st of November; to establish schools of all grades, engage and examine teachers, etc. The election for the Board of Education will be held next Monday, at the Court House, in Virginia; at the Postoffice, in Gold Hill, and at the house of IⒶemendation. W. Knox, in Flowery,Ⓐemendation the polls to be open from 8 o'clock in the morning until 6 in the evening. The Board will meet and organize on the Monday following their election.
Blown Down.—At sunset yesterday, the wind commenced blowing after a fashion to which a typhoon is mere nonsense, and in a short time the face of heaven was obscured by vast clouds of dust all spangled over with lumber, and shingles, and dogs and things. There was no particular harm in that, but the breeze soon began to work damage of a serious nature. Thomas Moore's new frame house on the east side of C street, above the Court House, was blown down, and the fire-wallⒶemendation front of a one story brick building higher up the street was also thrown to the ground. The latter house was occupied as a store by Mr. Heldman, and owned by Mr. Felton. The storm was very severe for a while, and we [begin page 394] shall not be surprised to hear of further destruction having been caused by it. The damage resulting to Mr. Heldman's grocery store, amounts to $2,200.
At Home.—Judge Brumfield's nightmare—the Storey county delegation—have straggled in, one at a time, until they are all at home once more. Messrs. Mills, Mitchell, Meagher and Minneer returned several days ago, and we had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Davenport, also, yesterday. We do not know how long the latter gentleman has been here, but we offer him the unlimited freedom of the city, anyhow. Justice to a good representative is justice, you know, whether it be tardy or otherwise.
The School.—Mr. Mellvile's school will open again next Monday, and in the meantime the new furniture is being put up in the school house. The Virginia Cadets (a company composed of Mr. Mellvile's larger pupils,) will appear in public on New Year's Day, the weather permitting, armed and equipped as the law directs. The boys were pretty proficient in their military exercises when we saw them last, and they have probably not deteriorated since then.
Sad Accident.—We learn from Messrs. Hatch & Bro., who do a heavy business in the way of supplying this market with vegetables, that the rigorous weather accompanying the late storm was so severe on the mountains as to cause a loss of life in several instances. Two sacks of sweet potatoes were frozen to death on the summit, this side of Strawberry. The verdict rendered by the coroner's jury was strictlyⒶemendation in accordance with the facts.
Thrilling Romance.—On our first page, to-day, will be found the opening chapters of a thrilling tale, entitled “An Act to amend and supplemental to an Act to provide for Assessing and Collecting County and Territorial Revenue.” This admirable story was written especially for the columns of this paper by several distinguished authors. We have secured a few more productions of the same kind, at great expense, and we design publishing them in their regular order. Our readers will agree with us that it will redound considerably to their advantage to read and preserve these documents.
Fire, Almost.—The roof of the New York Restaurant took fire from the stovepipe, yesterday morning, and but for the timely discovery of the fact, a serious conflagration would have ensued, as the restaurant is [begin page 395] situated in a nest of frame houses, which would have burned like tinder. As it was, nothing but a few shingles were damaged.
Private Party.—The members of Engine Co. No. 2, with a number of invited guests, are to have a little social dance at La PlataⒶemendation Hall, this evening. They have made every arrangement for having a pleasant time of it, and we hope they may succeed to the very fullest extent of their wishes.
[begin page 396]
4 January 1863
The following nine items appeared in the local column of the Enterprise on 4 January 1863. The rationale for assigning this date to the column is discussed in the headnote to “Our Stock Remarks” (p. 175). The column itself is preserved in a clipping in one of Mark Twain's scrapbooks, but the clipping does not contain the beginning lines of the first item about the forthcoming Sanitary Ball.
. . . benevolent enterprise, and to be present and see such a phenomenon, would be well worth the price of the ticket—six dollars, supper included. Wherefore, we advise every citizen of Storey to go to the ball—early—and stand ready to enjoy the joke. The fun to be acquired in this way, for a trifling sum of money, cannot be computed by any system of mathematics known to the present generation. And the more the merrier. We all know that a thousand people can enjoy that failure more extensively than a smaller number. Mr. Unger has tendered the use of the large dining hall of the What Cheer House (nearly opposite the La Plata Hall) with all the necessary table ware, and the waiters employed in the hotel, free of charge. This generosity—this liberality in a noble cause—calls for a second from somebody. Get your contributions ready—money, wines, cakes, and knicknacks and substantials of all kinds—and when the ladies call for them, deliver your offerings with a grace and dignity graduated by the market value of the same, the condition of your pecuniary affairs, and the sympathy you feel for maimed and suffering humanity. The ladies may be looked for to-morrow.
Election.—To-morrow morning, at eight o'clock, the polls will be opened at the Court House, on C street, for the election of the four members of the County Board of Education to which Virginia is entitled. Gold Hill is entitled to two members, and Flowery to one. In the former place, the polls will be at the Post Office, and in the latter at the house of Mr. I. W. Knox. The Board will meet and organize on the Monday following their election. They will have power to issue bonds [begin page 397] for a sum sufficient to defray the expenses of the respective schools of the county, from the beginning of the present month until the first of November. They will also have power to establish schools of all grades, engage and examine teachers, etc. The Chairman of the Board will be County School Superintendent. Let those who feel interested in school matters go and deposit their opinions in the ballot-box to-morrowⒶemendation.
Public School.—The juveniles are hereby notified to put away their sleds and doll-babies and go into the traces again, at Mr. Mellvile's school-house, corner of E and Washington streets, to-morrow morning, at 10 o'clock. The pupils used to learn fast under the old regime of puritanical straight-back benches. We shall expect the new chairs and desks to impart a telegraphic celerity to their improvement henceforward.
New Years Extension.—Yesterday was New Years Day for the ladies. We kept open house, and were called upon by seventy-two ladies—all young and handsome. This stunning popularity is pleasant to reflect upon, but we are afraid some people will think it prevented us from scouting for local matters with our usual avidity. This is a mistake; if anything had happened within the county limits yesterday, those ladies would have mentioned it.
Supreme Court.—Gen. Williams finished his long and able argument in the Chollar and Potosi case, at a late hour last night. This was the closing speech. It is said that the Supreme Court cannot reasonably be expected to render a decision in this important case before the end of the present month.
Ball in Carson.—Just as we are going to press, we learn that Mrs. Williamson is to give a ball at the White House in Carson City, next Thursday evening. We have no particulars, but we suppose that one of those pleasant, sociable affairs, which are Mrs. Williamson's speciality, is in contemplation.
Mass.—Rev. Father Manogue notifies the Roman Catholics of Carson City that Mass will be celebrated there this forenoon at 11 o'clock. We presume that this service will take place at Miss Clapp's school-house, as it has been used by that denomination for some time past as a chapel.
Firemen's Meeting.—The Virginia Engine Company will hold a meeting at the engine house, A street, on Tuesday evening, January 6th, for the purpose of electing officers to serve during the present year.
[begin page 398]Recorder's Court.—Business in this institution is still feeble. Only one case yesterday—a scion of the noble house of Howard—Christian name, John Doe, d. d., fined ten dollars and costs—paid the same and was discharged.
[begin page 399]
6 January 1863
The following five items appeared in the Enterprise for 6 January 1863, which is not extant. The text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Marysville (Calif.) Appeal for 9 January 1863, which attributed it to the Enterprise of January 6. The authenticity of the first item is discussed in the introduction (pp. 20–21).
[Free Fight.—] A beautiful and ably conducted free fight came off in C street yesterday afternoon, but as nobody was killed or mortally wounded in a manner sufficiently fatal to cause death, no particular interest attaches to the matter, and we shall not publish the details. We pine for murder—these fist fights are of no consequence to anybody.
Humboldt stocks are plenty in the market, at figures which we have no doubt are low for the claims. The want of buyers is probably attributable to the indefinite knowledge of these claims. There are unquestionably many valuable ledges in the district offered at exceedingly low prices.
The old friends and acquaintances of Jno. D. Kinney (who came to Nevada Territory with Chief Justice Turner, and who returned to the States last March,) will be gratified to learn that that sterling patriot is now a captain in the Seventh Ohio Cavalry.
Milstead, who murdered a man named Varney, some time ago, near Ragtown, in Humboldt county, will be hung in Dayton next Friday.
James Leconey, W. H. Barstow, Jas. Phelan and John A. Collins were elected members of the Board of Education at Virginia.
[begin page 400]
10 January 1863
The following two items were included in the same Enterprise local column that contained Mark Twain's “The Sanitary Ball” (no. 37) and “Due Notice” (no. 38). His undoubted authorship of these sketches makes it more than likely that he wrote the entire column.
. . . .
The New Court House.—Messrs. Unger & Denninger's new brick house,Ⓐemendation on B street, has been leased by the County Commissioners for court rooms and offices. The first floor, we believe, is to be used forⒶemendation a United States District Court room, and the second story will be partitioned into offices and a Probate Court room. It would probably have been better to have reversed this order of things, on account of the superior light and the freedom from dust and noise afforded by the upper story; yet it is possible that these advantages may be as necessary in one case as the other—we do not care about dictating much in the matter so long as no one will be likely to pay us for it. But nevertheless, since the first story is to be used for the District Court, we wish to suggest that that box, that partition, be removed, and the whole of it set apart for that purpose. It would then be a large, handsome and well-lighted hall, whereas, in its present shape, it is not very greatly superior to the present court room on C street. A gentleman informedⒶemendation us yesterday that he thoughtⒶemendation the intention was to remove the partitionⒶemendation, but he could not be positive about it.
. . . .
The Music.—Millington & McCluskey's bandⒶemendation furnished the music for the Sanitary Ball on Thursday night, and also for the Odd Fellows' Ball the other evening in Gold Hill, and the excellence of the article was only equalledⒶemendation by the industry and perseverance ofⒶemendation the performers. We consider that the manⒶemendation who can fiddle all through one of thoseⒶemendation VirginiaⒶemendation Reels without losing his grip, may beⒶemendation depended upon in any kind of musical emergencyⒶemendation.
[begin page 401]
11–21 January 1863
The following item appeared in the Enterprise sometime in mid-January 1863. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the San Francisco Herald and Mirror for 23 January 1863, which introduced the article as follows: “The Virginia City Territorial Enterprise has the following account of a pork speculation in that region.”
High Price of Pork.—In our record of probate proceedings to-dayⒶemendation, will be found the case of John Hill vs. John Doe Wentworth. As a matter of principle, it may be well enough to stand by your rights until the lake of fire and brimstone is no longer in a state of liquification, but whether it be good policy to do so at all times is a question which admits of argument. This case is an instance in point. The property involved is about twenty or thirty dollars' worth of pork in a crude state—we mean, two living hogs, probably worth but little more than ten dollars each; yet this suit to determine their ownership has already cost the parties to it some six or seven hundred dollars, and the defeated but plucky plaintiff has given notice that he will apply for a new trial! The new trial will double the bill of expenses, in all human probability.
We learn from gentlemen who were present at the trial to-day, that there were about thirty witnesses on the stand, and one of them a woman. The hog dispute afforded those concerned and the lookers-on a good deal of fun, but it was very costly. Those two distinguished pigs ought to be taken care of and exhibited at the first agricultural fair of Nevada Territory. At any rate, we shall officially spread the proceedings of this trial upon the records of the Washoe Agricultural, Mining and Mechanical Society, as evidence of the high value placed upon the hog in Nevada Territory.
[begin page 402]
19 February 1863
The following three items, two of which are incomplete, are preserved in a photograph of the Enterprise for 19 February 1863 (MTP), the same issue that carried “Ye Sentimental Law Student” (no. 44). The paper has been torn, obscuring most of the first article; only the portions that form intelligible sentences are reproduced here. The photograph cuts off the last article in mid-sentence.
[La Plata Ore Company.—] . . . The company was organized under a deed of trust, and has been steadily at work, with scarce any intermission, since the 1st of May, 1861—under the general superintendence of the President, Col. W. H. Howard. The claim is believed to comprise some of the finest ledges in the Virginia and Gold Hill range, and from present appearances it looks as if the company were about to commence realizing the reward of their long and well-bestowed laborⒶemendation, as in addition to the ledges already noticed, the top of a fine ledge has already been uncovered on the west side of the claim, where the chimney ranging with the Butler's Peak and Mount Davidson ledges crops out.
The China Trial.—We were there, yesterday, not because we were obliged to go, but just because we wanted to. The more we see of this aggravated trial, the more profound does our admiration for it become. It has more phases than the moon has in a chapter of the almanac. It commenced as an assassination; the assassinated man neglected to die, and they turned it into assault and battery; after this the victim did die, whereupon his murderers were arrested and tried yesterday for perjury; they convicted one Chinaman, but when they found out it was the wrong one, they let him go—and why they should have been so almighty particular is beyond our comprehension; then, in the afternoon, the officers went down and arrested Chinatown again for the same old offense, and put it in jail—but what shape the charge [begin page 403] will take this time, no man can foresee: the chances are that it will be about a stand-off between arson and robbing the mail. Capt. White hopes to get the murderers of the Chinaman hung one of these days, and so do we, for that matter, but we do not expect anything of the kind. You see, these Chinamen are all alike, and they cannot identify each other. They mean well enough, and they really show a disinterested anxiety to get some of their friends and relatives hung, but the same misfortune overtakes them every time: they make mistakes and get the wrong man, with unvarying accuracy. With a zeal in behalf of justice which cannot be too highly praised, the whole Chinese population have accused each other of this murder, each in his regular turn, but fate is against them. They cannot tell each other apart. There is only one way to manage this thing with strict equity: hang the gentle Chinamen promiscuously, until justice is satisfied.
The Concert.—We shall always guard against insinuating that the citizens of Virginia are not filled with a fondness for music, after what we saw at Mr. Griswold's Concert last night. The house was filled, from dome to cellar (we speak figuratively, since there was neither dome nor cellar to the house,) with people who entirely appreciated the performance, and testified pleasure by frequent and hearty applause. The Concert was a notable credit to the talent of Virginia, and we think we speak the public desire when we ask for another like it. Mr. James Gilmore, a very youthful looking poet, recited a martial poem whereof himself was the author. It was received with great applause. We only heard five of the songs set . . .
[begin page 404]
25 February 1863
The following eight items are preserved in a photograph of the Enterprise for 25 February 1863 (MTP), the same issue that carried “The Unreliable” (no. 46).
“Many Citizens.”—In another column of this paper will be found a card signed by “Many Citizens of Carson,” stating that the County Commissioners of Ormsby county have removed the Sheriff from office and appointed some one else in his stead. They also ask whether the Commissioners really possess the power to remove the Sheriff, or the Governor of the Territory, or the President of the United States, at pleasure. This is all well enough, except that in the face of our well known ability in the treatment of ponderous questions of unwritten law, these citizens have addressed their inquiries to the chief editor of this paper—a man who knows no more about legal questions than he does about religion—and so saturated with self-conceitⒶemendation is he, that he has even attempted, in his feeble way, to answer the propositions set forth in that note. We ignore his reply entirely, and notwithstanding the disrespect which has been shown us, we shall sink private pique for the good of our fellow men, and proceed to set their minds at rest on this question of power. We declare that the County Commissioners do possess the power to remove the officers mentioned in that note, at pleasure. The Organic Act says so in so many words. We invite special attention to the first clause of section 2 of that document, where this language is used, if we recollect rightly: “The executive power and authority in and over said Territory of Nevada shall be vested in a Governor and other officers, who shall hold their offices for four years, and until their successors shall be appointed and qualified, unless sooner removed by the County Commissioners.” That is explicit enough, we take it. “Other officers” means any or all other officers, of course, else such dignitaries as it was intended to refer to would have been specifically mentioned; consequently, the President of the United States, and the Governor and Sheriff being “officers,” come [begin page 405] within the provisions of the law, and may be shoved out of the way by the Commissioners as quietly as they would abate a nuisance. We might enlarge upon this subject until Solomon himself couldn't understand it—but we have settled the question, and we despise to go on scattering pearls before swine who have not asked us for them. In thus proving by the Organic Act, and beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the County Commissioners are invested with power to remove the Sheriff or the Governor or the President, whenever they see fit to do so, we have been actuated solely by a love of the godlike principles of right and justice, and a desire to show the public what an unmitigated ass the chief editor of this paper is. Having succeeded to our entire satisfaction, we transfer our pen to matters of local interest, although we could prove, if we wanted to, that the County Commissioners not only possess the power to depose the officers above referred to but to hang them also, if they feel like it. When people want a legal opinion in detail, they must address their communications to us, individually, and not to irresponsible smatterers, like the chief editor.
The Firemen's Ball.—About seventy couplesⒶemendation assembled at Topliffe's Theatre night before last, upon the occasion of the annual ball of Virginia Engine Company No. 1. The hall was ablaze, from one end to the other, with flags, mirrors, pictures, etc.; and when the crowd of dancers had got into violent motion, and thoroughly fuddled with plain quadrilles, the looking-glasses multiplied them into a distracted and countless throng. Verily, the effect was charming to the last degree. The decoration of the theatre occupied several days, and was done under the management of a committee composed of Messrs. Brokaw, Robinson, Champney, Claresy, Garvey and Sands, and they certainly acquitted themselves with marked ability. The floor was covered with heavy canvass, and we rather liked the arrangement—but the wind got under it and made it fill and sag like a circus tent, insomuch that it impeded the Varsovienne practice, and caused the ladies to complain occasionally. Benham's “People's Band” made excellent music; however, they always do that. We have not one particle of fault to find with the ball; the managers kept perfect order and decorum, and did everything in their power to make it pass pleasantly to all the guests. They succeeded. But of all the failures we have been called upon to chronicle, the supper was the grandest. It was bitterly denounced by nearly everybody who sat down to it—officers, firemen, [begin page 405] men, women and children. Now, the supposition is, that somebody will come out in a card and deny this, and attribute base motives to us: but we are not to be caught asleep, or even napping, this time—we have got all our proofs at hand, and shall explode at anybody who tries to show that we cannot tell the truth without being actuated by unworthy motives. Chief Engineer PeasleyⒶemendation and officer Birdsall said that the supper contract was for a table supplied with everything the market could afford, and in such profusion that the last who came might fare as well as the first (the contractor to receive a stipulated sum for each supper furnished)—and they also say that no part or portion of that contract was entirely fulfilled. The entertainment broke up about four o'clock in the morning, and the guests returned to their homes well satisfied with the ball itself, but not with the supper.
Small Pox.—From Carson we learn, officially, that Dr. Munckton has been sent down to Pine Nut Springs to look after some cases of small pox, reported as existing among the Washoe Indians there. It is said that three men and a mahala are afflicted with it; the doctor intends vaccinating their attendants and warning the other Indians to keep away. Capt. Jo says one of the Indians caught the disease from a shirt given him by a white man. We do not believe any man would do such a thing as that maliciously, but at theⒶemendation same time, any man is censurable who is soⒶemendation careless as to leave infected clothing lying about where these poor devils can get hold of it. The commonest prudence ought to suggest the destruction of such dangerous articles.
School-House.—An addition is being built to the public school-house, and will be completed and put in order for occupation as soon as possible. Mr. Mellvile's school has increased to such an extent that the old premises were found insufficient to accommodate all the pupils. As soon as the new building is completed, the school will be divided into three departments—advanced, intermediate and infant—and one of these will occupy it.
Trial To-Day.—Sam Ingalls, who attempted the life of Pease the other day with a bowie knife, will be up before Judge Atwill to-day on a charge of drawing a deadly weapon. A case of this kind should never be allowed to pass without a severe rebuke, and if the evidence finds the prisoner guilty, he will probably catch it to-day; if it does not, why, no one wants him rebuked, of course.
[begin page 407]District Court.—The testimony for both sides in the case of the Burning Moscow vs. Madison Company was completed yesterday, and the lawyers will begin to throw hot shot at each other this morning—which is our military way of saying that the arguments of counsel herein will be commenced to-day. A great deal of interest is manifested in this suit, and the lobbies will be crowded during its trial.
Suicide.—We learn by a note received last night per Langton's Express, that a German named John Meyer, a wood dealer in Downieville, committed suicide there on the night of the 19th inst., by blowing his brains out with a pistol. The cause is supposed to have been insanity.
Telegraphic.—A message for S. S. Harman remains uncalled for at the Telegraph office.
[begin page 408]
17–26 February 1863
The following item appeared in the Enterprise sometime in late February 1863. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Oroville (Calif.) Butte Record for 28 February 1863, which introduced the article as follows: “Local of the Virginia Enterprise, who is continually blundering in his items—making misstatements one day, and correcting them the day following—gives one of his victims satisfaction after this style.” The item is an early example of one of Mark Twain's favorite forms, the apology which only makes matters worse: see “Explanation of a Mysterious Sentence” (no. 173).
Apologetic.—WeⒶemendation are always happy to apologize to a man when we do him an injury. We have wounded William Smiley's feelings, and we will heal them up again or bust. We said in yesterday's police record that Bill (excuse the familiarity, William,Ⓐemendation) was drunk. We lied. It is our opinion that Sam Wetherill did, too, for he gave us the statement. We have gleaned the facts in the case, though, from William himself, and at his request we hasten to apologize. His offense was mildness itself. He only had a pitched battle with another man, and resisted an officer. That was all. Come up, William, and take a drink.Ⓐemendation
[begin page 409]
1–12 March 1863
The following item appeared in the Enterprise sometime in early March 1863. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Oroville (Calif.) Butte Record for 14 March 1863, which attributed it to the Enterprise.
Calico Skirmish.—Five Spanish women, of unquestionable character, were arraigned before Judge Atwill yesterday, some as principals and some as accessories to a feminine fight of a bloodthirsty description in A street. It was proved that one of them drew a navy revolver and a bowie-knife and attempted to use them upon another of the party, but being prevented, she fired three shots through the floor, for the purpose of easing her mind, no doubt. She was bound over to keep the peace, and the whole party dismissed.
[begin page 410]
3 April 1863
The following five items are preserved in a copy of the Enterprise for 3 April 1863. We have omitted the extracts mentioned in the first article. The column is more than usually factual, but most items bear Mark Twain's stylistic signature.
A Distinguished Visitor.—Madame Clara Kopka arrived in Virginia a few days since, and is still sojourning in the city. To many of our citizens the name will be unfamiliar, yet such is by no means the case in the hospitals and upon the battle-fields of the East, where she has devoted nearly twelve monthsⒶemendation to arduous labor in tending the sick and wounded soldiers. In this service she has endured all the hardships and privations of camp life, without hope or desire of reward, and to the serious detriment of her health. She comes among us partly to satisfy a taste for travel, and partly to gather renewed vigor by a change of climate. She asked Mayor Arick for a homestead, supposing, in the simplicity of her heart, that the barren but beautiful landscape which surrounds Virginia was free to any who thought they could make use of it. Unfortunately, this is not the case; but the Silver Terrace Company could give Madame the homestead she covets without inconveniencing themselves in the least, and we have an idea that they will consider it a pleasure to do so. Madame Kopka brings with her a bundle of letters from military officers, from brigade and subordinate surgeons in the army, from Secretary Stanton, and letters of recommendation to General Halleck, all of which speak of her in the highest terms of praise. We cannot spare room for these letters, but we publish two newspaper extracts which will answer every purpose, perhaps. The first is from a long article, written by an army surgeon, in the N. Y. Home Journal of September 13th, and the other from the N. Y. Tribune of July 5th. . . .Ⓐemendation
The Lois Ann.—This claim is situated in a ravine which runs up in a northwesterly direction out of American Flat, and is on the Ophir Grade, about two miles and a half from Gold Hill. The ledge did not [begin page 411] crop out, but was uncovered by a small slide in the hillside, and found by Mr. Lightford, the present Superintendent, and located some four or five weeks ago. A well timbered incline has since been sunk upon it to the depth of twenty-five feet, and work in it is still going on day and night, although a stream of water from the vein materially interferes with the operations of the men. In the bottom of the incline the ledge is about ten feet wide, has a casing of blue clay, and is well defined; a great quantity of quartz has been taken from it, which looks exactly like third or fourth-class Ophir, but it won't pay to crush yet awhile, although choice specimens of it have assayed as high as ninety-two dollars to the ton. We visited the mine in company with Mr. H. C. Brown and Mr. Lightford, the Superintendent, and we share their opinion, that there is big pay rock in it somewhere, and it is only necessary to sink a reasonable depth to find it. Such promising indications as have been found in this claim are not often discovered so near the surface. Three north extensions have been located on the Lois Ann, and shafts sunk, and the lead struck on the first and third, the character and appearance of the rock in both instances proving identical with that of the original—coarse crystalized quartz, of a porous nature, and of a dark blue color like Comstock rock. There are fourteen hundred feet in the discovery claim, and the property is owned principally by mill men of Gold Hill. One of the best indications about the Lois Ann is at present much the most troublesome—we refer to the stream of water which pours from the ledge; work in the incline will have to be suspended on account of it and a tunnel commenced from the ravine—this will be about a hundred and fifty feet long, and will tap the lead at a depth of seventy-five feet. A mill-site has been taken up in the vicinity with the intention of turning the water to useful account in case the ledge proves as excellent as it is expected it will. Another good-looking ledge lies back of the Lois Ann, and parallel with it, which belongs to the same company. There is a claim of a thousand feet in the vicinity of these leads which is called the Zanesville, and the rock from it pays in gold from the very surface; every poundⒶemendation of it is saved, and mill men who have testedⒶemendation it say it will yield about a hundred dollars to the ton; there is only a mere trace of silver in it. The ledge is only about two feet wide, in the bottom of a shaft twelve feet deep, but is increasing in width slowly; possibly the Zanesville may peter out and go to thunder, but there is no prospect of such a result at [begin page 412] present. It is rich, but as it is only a gold ledge, and is so small, we have less confidence in it than in the Lois Ann.
Island Mill.—The Island Mill, built on Carson river by Mr. Hite, of Gold Hill, is about completed now, and the machinery was set in motion yesterday to see if there was anything wrong about it. The result was satisfactory, and the Island Mill will go to work formally and forever next Tuesday.
Gould & Curry.—They struck it marvelouslyⒶemendation rich in a new shaft in the Gould & Curry mine last Saturday night. We saw half a ton of native silver at the mouth of the tunnel, on Tuesday, with a particle of quartz in it here and there, which could be readily distinguished without the aid of a glass. That particular half ton will yield somewhere in the neighborhood of ten thousand dollars. We have long waited patiently for the Gould & Curry to flicker out, but we cannot discover much encouragement about this last flicker. However, it is of no consequence—it was a mere matter of curiosity anyhow; we only wanted to see if she would, you know.
The Minstrels.—We were present at La Plata Hall about two minutes last night, and heard Sam. Pride's banjo make a very excellent speech in English to the audience. The house was crowded to suffocation.
[begin page 413]
19–30 April 1863
The following item must have appeared in the Enterprise toward the end of April 1863, before Mark Twain left for San Francisco. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Oroville (Calif.) Butte Record for 2 May 1863.
Electrical Mill Machinery.—Mr. Wm. L. Card, of Silver City, has invented a sort of infernal machine, which is to turn quartz mills by electricity. It consists of wheels and things, and—however, we could not describe it without getting tangled. Mr. Card assures us that he can apply his invention to all the mills in Silver City, and work the whole lot with one powerful Grove battery. We believe—and if we had galvanic sense enough to explain the arrangement properly, others would also. A patent has already been applied for.
[begin page 414]
27 August 1863
The following item appeared in the Enterprise on 27 August 1863. It is preserved in a clipping in one of Mark Twain's scrapbooks. Mark Twain was reacting to an editorial, probably written by Charles A. Parker (the “Obese”), for the Virginia City Evening Bulletin of August 26:
Yesterday we gave a small item in which was set down the annual production of the precious metals in this Territory, in the gross, at $730,000,000. We also gave the data on which the calculation was made. These data may vary slightly from those given, upon an exact and actual investigation of the facts. Some probably will be found too high, but others again will exceed the numbers estimated upon. For instance, we have set down the number of quartz mills at one hundred; there are probably, however, nearer one hundred and fifty than one hundred, as this calculation was based upon statistics collected more than three months since. On the other hand, we may be a little too high in estimating the average yield per ton at $1,000. Upon the whole, however, we believe that the errors or miscalculations will be found nearly to counterbalance each other, and thus make the general result about the same.1
The “small item” referred to in the first sentence appeared in the Bulletin on August 25 (p. 3):
A Small Calculation.—There are one hundred Quartz Mills in this Territory, which crush upon an average twenty tons of mineral rock per day. This rock yields all the way from $100 to $4,000 per ton; and may be averaged at about $1,000 per ton. Giving a total turn out of 2,000,000 per day; and an annual production of $730,000,000—more than one half our present national debt according to official accounts.2
Mark Twain's fascination with calculations of this kind is well known. In this case, he was so pleased with his own arguments that he eventually incorporated part of “Ye Bulletin Cyphereth” in chapter 52 of Roughing It, adding in a bracketed comment, however, that his figuring was “a considerable over estimate.”
Ye Bulletin Cyphereth.—The Bulletin folks have gone and swallowed an arithmetic; that arithmetic has worked them like a “wakeup-Jake,” and they have spewed up a multitude of figures. We cypher up the importance of the Territory sometimes so recklessly that our self-respect lies torpid within us for weeks afterwards—but we see now that our most preposterous calculations have been as mild as boarding-house milk; we perceive that we haven't the nerve to do up this sort of thing with the Bulletin. It estimates the annual yield of the precious metals at $730,000,000! Bully! They say figures don't lie—but we doubt it. We are distanced—that must be confessed; yet, appalled as we are, we will venture upon the Bulletin's “boundless waste” of figures, and take the chances. A Gould & Curry bar with $2,000 in it weighs nearly 100 pounds; $100,000 worth of their bullion would weigh between two and two and a half tons; it would take two of Wells Fargo's stages to carry that $100,000 without discommoding the passengers; it would take 100 stages to carry $5,000,000, 2,000 stages to carry $100,000,000, and 14,600 stages to carry the Bulletin's annual yield of $730,000,000! Wells, Fargo & Co. transport all the bullion out of the Territory in their coaches, and to attend to this little job, they would have to send forty stages over the mountains daily throughout the year, Sundays not excepted, and make each of the forty carry considerably more than a ton of bullion!—yet they generally send only two stages, and the greatest number in one day, during the heaviest rush, was six coaches; they didn't each carry a ton of bullion, though, old smarty from Hongkong. The Bulletin also estimates the average yield of ore from our mines at $1,000 a ton! Bless your visionary soul, sixty dollars—where they get it “regular like”—is considered good enough in Gold Hill, and it is a matter of some trouble to pick out many tons that will pay $400. From sixty to two hundred is good rock in the Ophir, and when that company, or the Gould & Curry, or the Spanish, or any other of our big companies get into a chamber that pays over $500, they ship it to the Bay, my boy. But they don't ship thousands of tons at a time, you know. In Esmeralda and Humboldt, ordinary “rich rock” yields $100 to $200, and when better is found, it is shipped also. Reese River appears to be very rich, but you can't make an “average” there yet awhile; let her mines be developed first. We place the average yield of the ore of our Territory at $100 a ton—that is high enough; we couldn't starve, easily, on forty-dollar rock. [begin page 416] Lastly, the Bulletin puts the number of our mills at 150. That is another mistake; the number will not go over a hundred, and we would not be greatly amazed if it even fell one or two under that. While we are on the subject, though, we might as well estimate the “annual yield” of the precious metals, also; we did not intend to do it at first. Mr. Valentine, Wells Fargo's handsome and accomplished agent, has handled all the bullion shipped through the Virginia office for many a month. To his memory—which is excellent—we are indebted for the following exhibit of the company's business in the Virginia office since the first of January, 1862: From January 1st to April 1st, about $270,000 worth of bullion passed through that office; during the next quarter, $570,000; next quarter, $800,000; next quarter, $956,000; next quarter, $1,275,000; and for the quarter ending on the 30th of last June, about $1,600,000Ⓐemendation. Thus in a year and a half, the Virginia office only shipped $5,330,000 in bullion. During the year 1862 they shipped $2,615,000, so we perceive the average shipments have more than doubled in the last six months. This gives us room to promise for the Virginia office $500,000 a month for the year 1863, and now, perhaps, judging by the steady increase in the business, we too, like the Bulletin, are “underestimating,” somewhat. This gives us $6,000,000 for the year. Gold Hill and Silver City together can beat us—we will give them eight, no, to be liberal, $10,000,000. To Dayton, Empire City, Ophir and Carson City, we will allow an aggregate of $8,000,000, which is not over the mark, perhaps, and may possibly be a little under it. To Esmeralda we give $4,000,000. To Reese River and Humboldt $2,000,000, which is liberal now, but may not be before the year is out. So we prognosticate that the yield of bullion this year will be about $30,000,000. Placing the number of mills in the Territory at 100, this gives to each the labor of $300,000 in bullion during the twelve months. Allowing them to run 300 days in the year, (which none of them more than do) this makes their work average $1,000 a day—one ton of the Bulletin's rock, or ten of ours. Say the mills average 20 tons of rock a day and this rock worth $50 as a general thing, and you have got the actual work of our 100 mills figured down just about “to a spot”—$1,000 a day each, and $30,000,000 a year in the aggregate. Oh no!—we have never been to school—we don't know how to cypher. Certainly not—we are probably a natural fool, but we don't know it. [begin page 417] Anyhow, we have mashed the Bulletin's estimate all out of shape and cut the first left-hand figure off its $730,000,000 as neatly as a regular banker's clerk could have done it.
[begin page 418]
November 1863–February 1864
The following is not a local item, but an extract from one of Mark Twain's out-of-town letters. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in Carl Burgess Glasscock's The Big Bonanza. Glasscock indicates that the letter appeared “a little later” than Mark Twain's famous hoax “A Bloody Massacre near Carson” (no. 66), and that another article (“A Brisk Business in the Shooting and Slashing Way in Washoe”), not by Clemens, appeared “not long after” the letter. “A Bloody Massacre” was published on 28 October 1863; “A Brisk Business” on 10 March 1864. We have therefore conjectured a date of publication sometime between November 1863 and the end of February 1864.
[Traveling With Adolph Sutro.—] EightⒶemendation left Virginia yesterday and came down to Dayton with Mr. Sutro. Time 30 minutes—distance 8 or 9 miles. There is nothing very slow about that kind of travel. We found Dayton the same old place but taking up a good deal more room than it did the last time I saw it, and looking more brisk and lively with its increase of business, and more handsome on account of the beautiful dressed stone buildings with which it is being embellished of late.
JustⒶemendation as we got fairly under way, and were approaching Ball Robert's bridge, Sutro's dog, “Carlo,”Ⓐemendation got to skirmishing around in the extravagant exuberance of his breakfast, and shipped up a fight with six or seven other dogs whom he was entirely unacquainted with, had never met before and probably has no desire to meet again. He waltzed into them right gallantly and right gallantly waltzed out again.
WeⒶemendation also left at about this time and trotted briskly across Ball Robert's bridge. I remarked that Ball Robert's bridge was a good one and a credit to that bald gentleman. I said it in a fine burst of humor and more on account of the joke than anything else, but Sutro is insensible to the more delicate touches of American wit, and the effort was entirely lost on him. I don't think Sutro minds a joke of mild character any more than a dead man would. However, I repeated it once or [begin page 419] twice without producing any visible effect, and finally derived what comfort I could by laughing at it myself.
Mr.Ⓐemendation Sutro being a confirmed business man, replied in a practical and businesslike way. He said the bridge was a good one, and so were all public blessings of a similar nature when entrusted to the hands of private individuals. He said if the county had built the bridge it would have cost an extravagant sum of money, and would have been eternally out of repair. He also said the only way to get public work well and properly done was to let it out by contract.
“For instance,” says he, “they have fooled away two or three years trying to capture Richmond, whereas if they had let the job by contract to some sensible business man, the thing would have been accomplished and forgotten long ago.”Ⓐemendation It was a novel and original idea and I forgot my joke for the next half hour in speculating upon its feasibility. . . .Ⓐtextual note Ⓐemendation
[begin page 420]
25–27 December 1863
The following item appeared in the Enterprise, possibly as early as Christmas, but probably on 26 or 27 December 1863. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Marysville (Calif.) Appeal for 30 December 1863, which introduced the article as follows: “Mark Twain, local of the Territorial Enterprise, received a Christmas present, which he acknowledges as follows.”
A Christmas Gift.—“Mr. Twain—compliments of Miss Chase—Christmas, 1863.” This handwriting disposed us to suspect treachery, and to regard the box as a deadly infernal machine. It was on this account that we got a stranger to open it. This precaution was unnecessary. The diabolical box had nothing in it but a ghastly, naked, porcelain doll baby. However, we are much obliged—we always had a hankering to have a baby, and now we are satisfied—the mythical “Miss Chase” helped us to the business, and she has our cordial thanks for her share in it.
[begin page 421]
29 December 1863
The following item appeared in the Enterprise on 29 December 1863. It is preserved in a clipping in one of Mark Twain's scrapbooks. The printed date, “Tuesday, . . . . December 29, 1863,” is pasted immediately above the clipping.
Christmas Presents.—We received from Carson, Saturday, a long yellow box, of suspicious appearance, with the following inscription upon it: “Mark Twain, Enterprise Office, Virginia—Free—Politeness Langton's Pioneer Express— Be-hi-me-soi-vin Ⓐemendation.” That last phrase is Greek, and means “Bully for you!” We are not sure that it was written by Mrs. H. F. R., of Carson, and there was no evidence accompanying the box to show that it was. This is what makes us so obstinate in the opinion that it might have been written by somebody else. The box contained a toy rabbit, of the jackass persuasion, gifted with ears of aggravated dimensions, and swathed in sage-brush; an Indian chief—a mere human creation—made of raisins, strung on a skeleton formed of a single knitting-needle, with a solitary fig for a body, and a chicken feather driven into the head of the effigy, to denote its high official character. One more present remained—the same being a toy watchman's rattle, made of pine and tastefully painted. We are glad to have that rattle now, but when we asked for such a thing at a certain convivial party in Carson, it will be remembered that we meant to bestow it upon another young man who was present, and whose absent mind, we imagined, might be collected together and concentrated by means of such an instrument. We have presented the rabbit to Artemus Ward, to be preserved as a specimen of our resources; the other presents we shall always wear near our heart. The following report of the committee, accompanying the box, has been received, accepted, adopted, and the same referred to the Committee of the Whole—people:
[begin page 422]Mr. Mark Twain—Sir: The undersigned has the honor to be selected by the gay company of ladies and gentlemen and boys and girls and Santa Claus, who came in person with Judge DixsonⒶemendation's wolf-skin cap, coat, pants and a mask, and sleigh bells around his waist, and dashed in the room just after Mrs. CutlerⒶemendation and two long rows of children had sung a pretty piece, and read a letter from Santa Claus, when that individual immediately dashed into the room to the terror of some of the children, thirty-six in all, and climbed the Christmas tree, all covered with presents, and little lighted candles, and handed down things for everybody, and afterwards danced with the now reconciled children, and then dashed out; after which there was supper and dancing by the ladies and gentlemen; and the school which was thus made to enjoy themselves last night till midnight, was Miss H. K. Clapp and Mrs. Cutler'sⒶemendation Seminary, which is one of the best there is, and instructed me to send you these things, which I do by Langton's Express, handed down from the Christmas tree by Santa Claus, marked “Mark Twain,” to wit: One rabbit under a sage brush, to represent your design for a seal in the Constitutional Convention; one rattle, presented by a lady of whom you begged for one when you were here last, and a Pi-Ute to be eaten, being a chief with a chicken feather in his hat, composed of a fig for his body and otherwise raisins, sent to you by request of a lady of the medicalⒶemendation profession, all of which is submitted by
William A. Trinity, Committee.
[begin page 423]
12–13 January 1864
The following is not a local item, but an extract from one of Mark Twain's letters from Carson City. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Gold Hill News for 13 January 1864, which attributed it to “Mark Twain, writing from Carson,” and probably reprinted it on the day of its appearance or very shortly thereafter. Since the Enterprise did not appear on Mondays, the letter probably appeared on January 12 or 13.
The Mint.—SpeakingⒶemendation of the mint, I have an item of news relating to that subject. Mr. Lockhart, the Indian Agent, has just received a letter from Commissioner Bennet, in which he says he has been informed by Secretary Chase that no further steps will be taken toward building a mint in this region until our State Representatives arrive in Washington! This is in consequence of efforts now being made by Mr. Conness to have the mint located at Virginia. The authorities want advice from representatives direct from the people. As I said before, the people of Ormsby will oppose the Constitution. O, certainly they will! They will if they are sick—or sentimental—or consumptive—or don't know their own interests—or can't see when God Almighty smiles upon them, and don't care anyhow. Now if Ormsby votes against the Constitution, let us clothe ourselves in sack-clothⒶemendation and put ashes on our heads; for in that hour religious liberty will be at an end here—her next step will be to vote against her eternal salvation. However the anti-Constitutional sentiment here is growing weak in the knees.Ⓐemendation
[begin page 424]
17–24 April 1864
The following item appeared in the Enterprise probably sometime between 17 and 24 April 1864. The Enterprise printing is not extant, but the text is preserved in a contemporary reprinting in the Jackson (Calif.) Amador Weekly Ledger for 30 April 1864. Since Mark Twain left town for Silver Mountain on or about April 24, he could have written it any time in the week before his departure (see the headnote to “Frightful Accident to Dan De Quille,” no. 73). The Ledger introduced the item as follows: “Missionaries are greatly needed in Virginia City, as witness the following from the Territorial Enterprise.”
Missionaries Wanted.—Yesterday morning Gashwiler and Charley Funk, citizens of Virginia City and of the Territory of Nevada, and officers of the great Virginia and Gold Hill Water Company, came rushing into our office in a state of excitement bordering on lunacy, and pointed out to us the following advertisement in the Evening Bulletin, with a fierce demand upon us to read it and render unto them our opinion concerning it:
“In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying: If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink.—St. John, vii, 27.
“Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.—St. John,Ⓐemendation iv, 14.
“The lamb, which is in the midst of the throne, shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters, and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.—Rev. vii, 17.”
We ask, now, in all candor, if there is a man in all Virginia who is competent by reason of his extraordinary natural or acquired stupidity, to guess what these gentlemen found in the above extracts to fill their souls with rage? AsⒶemendation we hope for mercy past and present, they thought it was an attempt to ring in an opposition water company on the people! We call that infernal ignorance—and if we could think of a stronger term Gashwiler and Charley Funk should have the benefit of [begin page 425] it. When men get so far gone that they do not know the Sermon on the Mount from a bid for a water franchise, it is time for them to begin to reform and stop taking desperate chances on the hereafter.